Murmurs of Words

For all your writing needs

Ready for submissions

For various reasons, I am back to freelancing full-time and ready for submissions.

I’m happy to offer quotes for any project.

Daily Routine

By Louis Kasatkin

The first thing I noticed about him was that he always favoured the bench nearest the ornate water fountain, the one at the furthest point of the park’s circumference. Continue reading

Update

Well, the freelancing is going to have to take a bit of a back seat for the moment as I am starting a new, full-time job on April 15th. Currently desperately trying to find accommodation in Trowbridge, but that is by the by.  I will still be available, but turnarounds may take slightly longer as I will only be able to work evenings and weekends.

Still, please don’t hesitate to contact me for quotes!

The Grammar Bar

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

[Source: https://bit.ly/2SAA65e]

Betrayal

By Mark Kuglin

Quinn’s avarice should have been obvious. His mendacious mindset and irresistible charm overrode Mary’s caution which created a willing victim. Had she really been paying attention– and not allowed her emotions to run unchecked– she would have seen right through him.

Continue reading

Pancakes will make you happy

By Riham Adly

Ghosts from the future haunt me. I see the genesis of my new fat cells, all glorious and unhindered, going on strong in my belly and thighs. I get those flashes of premonition every time my feet carry me there—where I shouldn’t be.
Continue reading

Existential Crisis

By Niles M Reddick

Grandma sent me a Trumpy Bear and I don’t care. I don’t even like him, don’t like his comb over, don’t like his fake everything. I already threw him in the trash. He’s over there in the corner, stuffed in the can, face down and big ass up, ready for the crusher at the dump. Continue reading

SfEP Intermediate Membership

Made it up a grade!

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